If Only You Loved Me
by Forbidden
Summary: I'm not sure if this should be angst but... newayz, Ganza acts like he has a crush on Eboshi during the movie, so I decided to write this fic. He loves her, but she only sees him as a friend. Takes place after movie.
1. Default Chapter

If Only You Loved Me  
  
A/N: R+R!  
  
Ganza stared at his mistress, sitting in her garden. He sighed.  
  
'She looks so beautiful,' He thought, 'Even without her arm.'  
  
Eboshi turned toward him.  
  
"Ganza, will you walk with me to the forest?"  
  
"Of course, my ladyship."  
  
Irontown has befriended the forest creatures and gave an immense apology.  
  
"You know my secret desires, you are the only one I can trust." The Lady said.  
  
"Yes milady, I know that."  
  
Well, have you ever cared for someone, or rather, loved them? But only to find that they care for someone else." She sighed.  
  
Ganza stared at her.  
  
'If you love someone other than me, then the answer would be yes.' He thought, as if she could hear.  
  
She did not give him time to answer but said,  
  
"Ashitaka is in love with Princess Mononoke," She sighed, "A reason I can not tell him my feelings."  
  
Ganza was not shocked, for he has suspected it for quite a while.  
  
"I know how it feels." He fought back tears, "But tell me this: Why do you love Ashitaka anyways?"  
  
"Why would you want to know?" Eboshi looked up at him.  
  
He could see tears forming in her eyes.  
  
"Because the mistress can not be in love without a reason."  
  
"I guess because he is brave, not selfish, and he has a good heart."  
  
Ganza looked down.  
  
No wonder she didn't love him, he only had one of those qualities. He's a coward, very greedy, but at least he means well.  
  
Ganza looked away from the woman he loved.  
  
"What would you say if-" He thought of what he should say, "if I told you that I am in love as well?"  
  
Eboshi stared at him.  
  
"Truly? You have found a lover?"  
  
"No, no milady." Ganza replied, "Her heart belongs to another, but I love her even so."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry for you Ganza."  
  
"No need to be sorry, you have enough troubles when your heart longs for Ashitaka."  
  
Eboshi smiled to herself.  
  
"That is a quality I like about you, Ganza, you understand me." She then smiled at him.  
  
He felt his cheeks burn red.  
  
"Merely because we have a sort of bond, a special relationship." He blushed at the words.  
  
"Yes," Eboshi agreed, "Our friendship is a special relationship."  
  
Ganza's heart sank.  
  
I must also tell you that I am leaving Irontown." He said.  
  
"What?" Eboshi looked up at him as the tears finally spilled. "Why?"  
  
"My mother is sick," He lied, "I must go take care of her."  
  
The truth was that he didn't want to remain in Irontown. The ladies made fun of him and thought him no more that an idiot. The guards were starting to disobey him and think for themselves when at battle. The other men didn't give a hoot about him. And most importantly, Eboshi didn't love him.  
  
"Oh Ganza," Eboshi hugged him with her one arm, "We will miss you. You can come back anytime you want."  
  
'I fear I may not want to.'  
  
~~~  
  
The next day, Toki went up to Ganza and hugged him.  
  
"Oh Ganza, I've just heard!" She released him, "We'll miss you very much! When Lady Eboshi told us." She trailed off.  
  
"She told you? Something I thought she would have forgotten." Ganza stared at the mistress talking to Ashitaka.  
  
Normally, he would've gotten jealous and would do something but what was the use? No matter how jealous her got, he's never win her heart.  
  
~~~  
  
That night, he left a note on Eboshi's doorway and left. He thought 'If I don't say goodbye, then we'll see each other again.'  
  
~~~  
  
The next morning, Eboshi yawned and got out of bed. She dressed and went to her dining table where her servants served Her breakfast. She didn't feel very hungry and muttered to herself, "Why do I get the feeling that something's missing?" She looked to the doorway.  
  
Normally, Ganza would be standing there, sleeping because he was making sure no intruders would try to enter during the entire night.  
  
Eboshi didn't make that one of his jobs but he seemed to want to anyway.  
  
'Hm.' She thought, 'Maybe he's packing.'  
  
The mistress walked over and saw a note on the door. As she read it, she began to cry.  
  
Ganza's note:  
  
I loved you once  
  
You loved me not  
  
I loved you twice  
  
But then I thought  
  
You never loved me  
  
You never will  
  
But even so...  
  
I love you still  
  
Ganza  
  
I understood you, but you didn't understand me. That is the reason I left.  
  
A/N: The poem isn't mine, but R+R! 


	2. Author's Note

A/N: I think I should let all of you know that I haven't continued this fic but wrote a sequel instead called "In the Moonlight I Felt Your Heart" and there's gonna be a sequel to that too. but I seem to have never mentioned it and it's almost been a year.huh..well, sorry about that! I'm gonna type up the last part of the series right now! 


End file.
